- lost of love, i'm unloved.quarrels between my parents again.
and it never runs away from the bitch.
somehow, i really wish... with my life,
i could exchange for a happy family..
even if i no longer will exists,
i just want my family to be happy,
and free from these problems...
it has been 5 or 6 years.
i dont remember that well..
ive nothing much better to say..
about my dad, and that bitch.
i know its wrong to curse...
but i just hope on one fine day,
the bad will fall...
and may it be soon~
felt slightly better after talking to ms boo.
but having to talk to mrs poh is better..
prolly bcos we're closer in a sense...
at that point of time,
when i broke out into tears...
all i thought of, were the days
you were there,
for me, to talk to me, to comfort me...
and to make sure i was alright,
then go straight to bed.
then i realised i really need
you very badly now..
but i lost
you over no one but myself..
and maybe, i lost
you to
her..
but i guess, all was to be blame...
was no one, but me myself and i...
its a month apart..without any contacts..or any coincidental meetings..one more month to go..PERSERVERE, i can do it~please do your part, wait for me...then with all the thinking...
i really am sorry to
you..
for not cherishing
you when i had
you..i know i shouldnt be like this anymore..
but if i had ONE chance, ONE chance will do..
could
you let me prove to
you,
that i'm all changed, just for
you??its one chance that i really need...i swear, just one to let me prove myself...till then-
just a quick update~
i'm feeling soooo
oh-i'm-not-okay...
am down with a damn fever...
prolly because i've been in the rain.
for the past few days~ LOL.
adding on, my head hurts terribly..
CONGRATS man~!!!
roll eyes*the homework is like a pile of mountain.
kinda huge pile of work to be completed.
and i realised POA aint very easy afterall~
and one thing important to note.
school's a money-sucker.
within 5 days in school....
the students had to "invest" another $50+,
apart from all the textbooks and stuff.
i wonder how much more money,
we students have to spend in the longrun~
parents, please complain. HAHA.skipped work for like twice already.
and i seriously dread going back there.
life really suck man... hah.
and finally, one good news.
i'm gonna do my hair tomorrow!!
cheerios man!!! bwahahah (:
alright alright.
am feeling really tired and sick.
gotta go to bed and rest...
till then people -
you're always on my mind.i'm still waiting for you,and your return, my love~
im like
super late...
but who cares?!?!
HAPPY NEW YEAR (:dont blame me for being late.
i wasnt home till this early morning.
bathed, slept and wenta work =x
but the night i spent on the last day of '05,
was so so so... AWESOME!!!
okays~ it might be stupid to some...
but, at least i know i was happy (:
went fisherman for drinking with my girls.
had tonnes of greetings by anonymous-es.
saw moon and his big group of
friends guys.
got disturbed by the guys
.was threatened to throw me down the sea,
if i dont give them my number.
went crazy dancing at d'marquee, dte.
got sprayed by the guys using spraying cans.
many went separate ways..
so moon, ah long, weixiang, my girls and me...
went to pasir ris beach with phebe & co.
i was used as a human white board.
ah long drew many pics on my back using spray cans.
sat down some where and chit chatted.
got fireman-carried by ah long and ran for awhile.
headed to 24 hours at 5 in the morning..
and went home at 7+ am-ish with jes....
dropdead and slept like pigs =x
okays. read many blogs.
and many did some sorta re-cap thingy.
and perhaps, i should do one too~
(since my hair's wet, and i cant sleep YET)
- broken up with my dearest love, Johan.
- the never ending quarrels with Johan.
- the tears he made me sob over him.
- the johore trips made with Johan.
- fell into depression. and fell terribly sick.
- did extremely bad for my mid-year.
- life was like shit for me after may '05.
- bonded with jerry korkor and co.
- was back with my aiai, sistaship got stronger!
- became darlings with my BUST-ed yenchin.
- sistaship btw jes and me got much better.
- did tons of crappy stuffs to numb my pain.
- having to see my cutie pie Daphne & parents..
- having to know ah long, wei xiang, ah lai, etc..
- how my finalised results failed me badly.
- how i cried over my damn damn results.
- and how i cant get over Johan after 7 months.
- and how my damn phone died on me!!!
blah blah blah.
so much more heartwrenching moments,
compared to the happy ones. SIGHS.
well, am suppose to live 2006 happily.
but just realised everything was temporarily.
i really wish time could turn back..
if time would really turn back one fine day..
i'll ask for nothing more,
but to give him what he wants.
God seems not to be able to hear me anymore.God seems not to know what i really really need.God seems not to want to help me anymore.. my dear Lord, where are You???last but not least...
special thanks to the followings (:
my dear mommy & family,they're there for me 24/7 i'd say.
my lovely Johan,for his love, care and acceptance.
for his warmest hugs, sloppiest kisses.
for being magnanimous towards me always.
for giving me countless of surprises time to time.
for giving me countless of happiness..
for bringing countless of smiles and sunshines to my life.
for being there for me 24/7, 365 days a year.
for knowing me inside out, knowing me and my needs.
for being the special one in my life, no one could replace..
and for being the BESTEST BEST boyfriend.
i'll love you always, and i mean ALWAYS. promise<3mrs joy poh,
who stood by me throughout 2005.
guo qiang,
who understands me well,
and for being sucha GOOD GOOD friend.
but im sorry for having the friendship to end.linkin kor,though you're problematic and super kb..
but still thanks alot for being there for me,
when your mei is still in a dilemma.
thanks for lending me your helping hand always.
glad to have you as part of my life..
hope you faster come back.. dont MIA too long!!
jeslyn,my super duper kb girl.
stood by me since primary school.
thanks for being sucha GREAT sister, bitching khakis..
hope our sistership never ends. cheerios*
pei shan,
the super kum-lan girl.
thanks for being my goodie good sister,
and for being my 2nd best of partner for netball..
making me love netball ever more.. cheers*
phebe,my super ah-lianish jie.
thanks for lending me your shoulder and ear.
BWAHAHHAS =p
thanks for giving my life lotsa UPS and DOWNS.
without you, life would be boring.
ahem-hem!! LOL.
aiai,for being my greaaaat sista in cvss,
for being the one i can trust in school..
glad our bond got stronger...
may our sistership last till the end of time,
and nothing ever changes btw ME and YOU (:
jerry korkor and CO.,
though ive not known you guys really well,
nor for really really long..
but i appreciate having you, Jerry as my kor..
for being there for me when im upset..
for lighting up my life tgt with your bros.
namely- chiawei, jashawn, kelvin, chris, lester, etc.
thanks alot people (:
my korkors and jiejies,it might be sometime since ive seen you all.
but still, i miss you people..
and hope you people are doing real fine..
thanks for what you all have once done for me..
meimei really appreciates it (:
my classmates from whichever era =xthough we might have quarrels here and there..
we might not always agree with one another..
but still, thanks for being part of my life..
making my life in
wherever kinda enjoyable..
hope our friendships last... and i miss you lots!!
esp my primary school khakis!!! (:my mac colleagues,though its only half a year odd..
but you people are fun to hang out with..
thanks for making work enjoyable..
may our friendships last!!!
all my friends,
we might just be acquaintances..
we might not know each other well.
or just know each other by names..
but still, thanks for coming into my life..
even if its for once in my whole life..
thanks alot, take loads of care~
and to the people who dislike me,we might have some problems btw us..
but whatever it is...
a friend made is better than an enemy made.
may our misunderstandings be cleared up one day-
so and so and so and soooooooo...
my entry is like so freaking long...
after tonnes of rubbish
spoken written.
but whatever~ i meant them lah.
alrights. gonna end this.
and hit the sack already.
im FREAKING tired.
had less than 4 hrs of sleep.school's reopening in 1 day's time.
and it simply suck.
boooooooooo~till then.
happy new year to both my lovelies, drey and aiai. drey, im still finding way out of that maze.. trying to get out of that terrible world and start life afresh.. still trying hard (:<3 you're such an ass, darling.
but blame it on me,
i cant deny that i still love you.
so i have to say,
i miss you so so so much.
